| Coming Out as FTM |
[Mar. 7th, 2008|04:14 pm] |
I took a big step two days ago. I went out with my best friend to a bar to sing karaoke. On the way we talked and she shared her issues that she was having. After she was done I told her I had something to talk to her about but she had to go to the restroom first. When she came out I told her about how I was talking to someone and they thought they were trans. I also told her how this person and I shared a lot in common. Then I told her that I was trans, she kind of thought about it for a minute. She asked me if I was going to go on T? I said yes I would want to after I started seeing a gender therapist. I told her that I had to do that for a yr I think and live as male before I could start T.
Then I told her I was worried about telling my parents. She said that it was my life and I needed to do what would make me happy. I'm still worried that my mom will be sad and might disown me. I'm sure she wouldn't want me to change my name since it has significance to her. I think my dad might think that I am crazy. Last year I went with him to get a name change. He changed it for religious reasons. So the judge brought up how its really weird when people who have a sex change come in to change their names. And my dad said he feels really bad for these people. So I'm afraid to how he would react to me telling him that I am trans.
My trans friend suggested that I start therapy without telling my family. I told her that I have insurance through my moms job and that I would have to tell them. Just want to get feedback from you guys, so leave comments and suggestions, please. |
|
|
| Shaving....First |
[Mar. 5th, 2008|05:20 pm] |
|
I shaved for the first time today. I'm pre-T so I dont really have a reason too, I guess. Anyway I went around campus looking in stores for aftershave lotion and couldnt find any. I was very disappointed but it did feel good to shave for once. I nicked myself after about three strokes. Anybody else shave and pre-T? |
|
|
| Took Big Steps TOday!!!!!! |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|05:45 pm] |
Just ordered my FIRST PACKER AND COCK SOCK!!!!!! I am so excited I can hardly wait. I ordered both of the products from the website transitional male. I was going to order from mango but they only took paypal. I don't have a paypal account and cant set one up because you need checks and I dont have any right now. I looked at Babeland but the cocksock was a little bit more than what i wanted to spend. Plus it didnt come with jock straps on it.
Wondering if anyone remembers buying their first packer and how they felt? |
|
|
| Finally made a decision!!! |
[Mar. 4th, 2008|12:05 pm] |
I think I figured the type of packer I am going to buy. I am going to buy the 3 1/2 inch packer from Mango products. I need some sort of way to hold the packer in place. I looked at transistional male and found a cock sock. The cock sock fits on your waist like a jock strap but there is a hole for the packer to poke through. I also looked at this site that has jock straps in different colors. The jock straps are fourteen dollars each. I wanted to get a red one but their out of stock.
The packer I want is only 11.95 and the cock sock is $12.00. I want to try and get the stuff shipped to me express. I cant have this come to my house because my mom is really noisy and would notice a box.
Just wondering if anybody has bought the 3 1/2 inch packer from mango and the cock sock? Does the packer lay flat and not look like a constant hard on? Does Anyone find its better to just wear a packer with boxer briefs and a jockstrap? |
|
|
| Boxer Briefs |
[Mar. 3rd, 2008|12:15 pm] |
Decided I need to buy the correct underwear. For my whole Ive been wearing female underwear. Recently I was thinking of buying new ones. It tool me a while to figure our what type to buy. I looked at the tags on FTM and found someone in a similar situation. They had also changed their whole wardrobe to male clothing except for the underwear.
From what I read, Ive chosen to buy boxer briefs. I dont want to wear briefs because they look loke they would fit tight like girls underwear. Looked at boxers but they seem really loose and it would probably feel like your "blowing in the breeze." So that only leaves me with boxer briefs. Ive already ordered them online yesterday from the Kmart website. Im ordering offline because I dont have a car and cant just walk to the store to buy some. |
|
|
| Please help me find this great link!!!! |
[Mar. 1st, 2008|09:02 pm] |
|
So i just joined this journal. MY first day I was able to find this great link that had a list of resources that were in alphabetical order. It went from A-Z. I have been trying to find it again for the last two days but can't. I know that it had to do with being FTM. I really hope that someone knows what I am talking about and can tell me how to find this link. It also had links on how to pick a surgeon and packing and stuff. It would take you to different pages on LJ. Thanks |
|
|
| Packing.....other things on my mind |
[Mar. 1st, 2008|01:37 pm] |
So lately I've been thinking about packing. I've thought about it in the past but never really went through with it. I don't think that anybody would really notice. I have heard that mango has a lot of good packers. Anything else I would need to buy besides just a packer. Wondering does anyone have any good suggestions???? When did you all start packing and do you do it everyday or just occasionally?
When I was younger I went into the boys restroom. It was when I went to XXXX elementary school and I was either in Kindergarten or first grade. My friend let me go with him into the bathroom. I think I said that I was curious to see what the boys bathroom looked like or somthing similar to that. He used the urinal and made me go and hide in the stall. Another boy walked into the bathroom and went into one of the stalls. I ran out and went back to my class.
I remember being younder and wanting to be able to pee standing up. I use to hate wearing girly clothes. I use to look through the magazines and look at the clothes in the boys section. I wished that when I dressed up I could wear a tie, boys dress shirt and dress pants and boys dress shoes. I always use to see myself as a boy. I did all the boyish things growing up. I played sports, played with cars, raced my bike and played with other boys. I can think of this time when my family and I went on vacation one summer. We went to a seminar in XXXXX, XXX for about two or three days. My XXXXXXXX and I went to the bathroom in the conference building. It was iin the mens room but labeled for women to use. That was when I saw urinals up close for the first time. I had to be about eleven years old at the time.
I'm hoping that in a couple of years I will be able to see a therapist or psychiatrist to discuss how I feel about my body. I just want to try and get a diagnosis. To see if I actually am Transgendered or if it is just in my head.
|
|
|
| FIRST ENTRY |
[Feb. 29th, 2008|09:54 pm] |
|
Today I wore my binder. I'm thinking about trying to start wearing it again on a daily basis. I realize that transitioning is against Catholic Church teaching. The Church says that it is bad to transition physically. I think that I might be losing my faith. I have actually thought about leaving the catholic church. I feel like there is no longer a place for me. I know that there are churches in the world that accept transgender people. I use to think that the Catholic Church could never do anythin wrong. Looking over what has happened in the past three years has proven me wrong. All I have to do is look at the priest sex scandal. Many of the biggest dioceses have gone bankrupt paying the victims and their families. Now there aren't even enough religious vocations. Many of the schools and churches are closing in my dioceses because there aren't enough people going to the churches and schools. I need to buy a new binder. The one that I have is starting to rip. I know that it will soon fall apart. A new binder is over thirty bucks if you include the shipping and taxes. Right now I don't have any extra money to buy a new one. I would like to start packing. This would maybe help me to start passing better. There are lots of websites that sell packing stuff. I think that I bind because I hate my chest. I remember going to shop for my first sports bra. I just hated the whole experience. I was so embarrased and worried that someone would see me with my mom shopping for a BRA! I really hate my chest. I just wish that I could wake up one day and my chest would be completely flat. Just wondering if anyone also has these feelings?? Please comments on entry. |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
tranboy07's journal